Top 10 Things Teens Do to Terrorize Me

Top 10 Things Teens do to Terrorize Me

1. Bathroom Visits from Chewbacca

We recently moved, and I had the distinct pleasure of cleaning our old house before the buyers took ownership. My favorite part was entering the teen bathroom for what was almost the last time. If you are a Mom of a teenage girl I have one profound question for you…”Where does all the hair come from?” Is Chewbacca coming in to take a shower while we sleep? Really, how much hair can come from two teenage girls? Do they know that the water is supposed to go down the drain when you shower? Do they think it’s normal to be standing in three inches of water while shampooing? You’d think that two young girls who maintain high grade point averages might understand this concept, but apparently NOT!

2. Packages, Boxes or Bags…and Bottles and Containers!

How many of you go into your kitchen cabinet to grab a couple of chips, or a box of cereal only to find an empty box in its place? How many of your teens leave four or more empty shampoo or conditioner bottles in the shower as decoration? How many empty boxes of pads or tampons do you have under your sink? I don’t know about you, but the Chip/Cereal/Tampon Fairy doesn’t visit my house regularly.

3. Trash and Garbage and Rubbish – Oh My!

I’m trash can obsessed. I purchase them in bulk at CostCo. I research them on Amazon to find the perfect receptacle for every need. I couldn’t make it any easier for teens to use them. Why do I walk in their bathroom and find dirty makeup wipes, used dental floss and empty razor packages strewn about when the trash can is literally 2.5 feet away? NEWS FLASH – TEENS: Trash is not supposed to go on the counter, or on the desk, or on the kitchen table or the living room ottoman!

4. Last Second Plans

I know I’m old, but maybe growing up without cell phones made us have to come up with a plan in advance when we were kids. Maybe we were taught how to contact friends at least a half hour before our trips to the mall, football game, practice, sleepovers. Wait, silly me, I’ve got all the time in the world to adjust my plans on a moment’s notice. I forgot… I’m a Mom!

5. Me Wishes They’d Pick Up Dishes

I’ve given up on this one. We used to say no food or drink in the bedroom. It was a losing battle. Instead, we now witness the weekly walk of shame with arms overflowing with cups, cans, bowls etc. as they make their way from the bedroom to the kitchen. I apologize in advance to their future college roommates. I’ve done all I can do.

6. ‘Twas the Night Before…

However, there is a LOT of stirring in this house – the steam from my ears, words from my mouth, arms flailing in disbelief! It makes my night when I’m summoned by a teenage screech telling me she needs: poster board, ear buds, money, new gym shoes, a jacket for school, a book for class, secret Santa gifts…by tomorrow.

7. Forget Folding

I’ve heard of accessorizing an outfit, but maybe decorating the bedroom floor with sweaters, pants, socks, underwear and coats accessorizes their room? What are we thinking as parents? It is much easier to throw our clothes on the floor rather than spending countless hours folding and putting them away.

8. Teen Time

Why is it that everyone else, but your teen, can be ready when it’s time for school, church, the doctor, shopping, work? Is their internal clock on slo-mo? Do they not understand that other people have schedules? My best defense is running around the house and fast forwarding all the clocks by five minutes. Then, I tell them we have to leave 10 minutes before we actually do.

9. Ignoring Texts and Voicemails

Why is it they can “Snap” hundreds of friends an hour, but if Mom or Dad sends a text about pick-up time, they don’t respond? Maybe they would find time to respond if we shut their phones down (Here’s how!)

10. Hating the Sound of My Voice

Why do I have to ask 800 times for them to feed the cat, empty the dishwasher, set the table, bring in the trash cans, etc.? By the fourth time, I can’t stand the sound of my own voice, so how could I ask them to listen intently?

I guess that means it’s time for you to stop listening now too!


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