Wondering how your favorite Mom role model holds everything together so well? The truth: she doesn’t! She has mastered faking it, however – and that is a very worthy achievement in itself. Want to know the truth about the real side of motherhood? Whether you are a new Mom or living the dream with teens at home, find comfort in knowing you are not alone in your quest to get up, get going and get to bed every day! 😉 These Five Mom Truths will tell you the straight scoop.
Our kids are NOT perfect – we only want you to think they are perfect on social media.
Regardless of what Facebook and Instagram have you believing, my kids don’t smile all the time. They do not win every competition or spend every waking minute volunteering to make the world a better place. Can you imagine what would happen if we had to document all of the real-world drama, stressful tantrums, nagging and screaming matches that go on in our homes on a daily basis? We only announce our accomplishments, triumphs and happy times to our friends and followers – the real scoop is unveiled over wine and bitch sessions limited to a small, but intimate gathering of friends around the kitchen island.
My house is a mess – most of the time.
Messy most days, for sure… a little dirty, sometimes. If we know you are coming over the tornado is unleashed. The house is turned upside down to get it clean in 30 minutes flat. The kids clean their bathroom (otherwise who knows what could be lurking in there!). The dishes on the counter and in the sink are thrown in the dishwasher and the house is vacuumed in record time. Don’t open any closets when you visit, you may end up with a concussion. Don’t show up unannounced, you might find your way in but may not find your way out!
Showering is optional.
If we wake up and the day is jammed packed with conference calls, driving to practice, doctor appointments, picking up groceries because there is nothing to eat in the house, going to the gym, getting gas before the last 10 miles runs out on our gauge, and making dinner – showering is at the bottom of the list, if it makes the list at all. Why else did they create dry shampoo?
Screaming is accepted – and completely necessary.
Sometimes a good, loud, can’t-hold-it-in-any-longer grunt or scream is imperative and very therapeutic. How many times can we say, “Turn off the lights,” “Put your dishes in the dishwasher,” “Throw that in the trash,” “Wipe the counter,” “Do your laundry,” “Put that in recycling”? It’s inevitable that we are going to blow! When we do, we make it count. We scream at the top of our lungs and we LOVE every minute of it!
Our love is unconditional – unless you’re a dumb ass!
There should be an 11th Commandment – Thou Shall Not Mess with a Mother’s children. Hurt our children and we will come after you — with fierce, muscle, vengeance and determination. We may learn to forgive after many, many, many, many years – but we will NEVER forget. Of course, all of this is null and void if our kid was the dumb ass. In that case, we will disappear and hide until we feel the time is right to reengage – which might very well be… never.
The truth: Perfection is unachievable, overrated, dull and fictitious. Real Moms don’t claim it. And, we certainly don’t aim for it!